No sooner a baby is born it acquires innumerable relations such as father, mother, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, grand-parents, etc. Emotional ties or attachments are then formed on the basis of the knowledge gained through the five sensory organs, the surrounding circumstances and the teachings of the near and dear ones which is again dependent on their own way of thinking. These ties then get strengthened by the baby’s own thinking. The baby becomes completely extroverted. Outer attractions cause the mind to be smeared with the six passions. We have strong ties with those related to us and we believe that these are like the silken knots. These very silken knots of attachment later turn out to be bondages for the mind. These outward attachments deprive the mind of satisfaction, peace and cheerfulness and cause it mental suffering and agony.

It is not easy to remain detached in this world where almost everyone is entangled in interpersonal attachments. So from our childhood till youth we get entangled in attachments to living beings to quite an extent. And, no matter how much we try to remain detached, there are many around us who get us again entangled in attachments like the crabs in a basket who pull back any crab trying to get out! So we will have to specially learn how to remain free from maya i.e. attachments while staying in maya i.e. this impermanent world. The irony and pity is that we are never even aware that we are entangled in attachments except on occasions when we suffer mental agony after separation from, or loss of, some near and dear one.

Our involvement is necessary in our household life and in our job or business. However, attachment should be avoided. The more we are in love with someone the more will be our attachment. The bondage of attachment is like a silken knot. The silk thread is smooth, shiny and has an attractive colour. Hence, it is used in making rakhi – a charmed silk string tied by a Hindu sister around her brother’s wrist on the Coconut Day festival as a symbol of her love and his commitment to protect her. If we try to pull apart a silk thread with our bare hands, our hands begin to bleed but the thread doesn’t snap. Similarly, if we try to force open the bondages of attachments it can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and only add to our mental agony. It is, therefore, necessary to first understand how and where we have got entangled in interpersonal attachments. We can then loosen our emotional ties gradually and free ourselves from our attachments gently.

Interpersonal attachments are two-way, reciprocal attachments because the persons whom we love also love us. Even if try to free ourselves from such attachments the persons concerned are unlikely to allow us to do so. Such interpersonal attachments, therefore, spoil our state of mind by adding to our mental agony. To free ourselves from interpersonal attachments all we need to do is to play our respective roles of a father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, etc. merely as kartavya i.e. an obligatory duty.